7th September 1937

24th August 1937 - Mary to Terrick

Aug 24th 1937

Darling - Every day is so full - and you are always so busy - and I'm getting so sick of seeing you in spurts - that I thought I'd write to you.  Not that I've got anything to say - beyond reminding you that two weeks today you'll be starting on your much needed summer holiday - and sending you my best wishes for a nicer holiday than you've ever had before.  

I feel that you're a bit worried about money - but I suppose we should really have expected to be - deciding to get married on the minimum.  I think perhaps we have been a little extravagant here and there - over carpets, perhaps and the bedroom furniture - and the honeymoon - and I feel I'm a bit to blame with my "beauty" course and hair.  But I'm sure we shall be glad later on (bar the last two items!) - and I think we shall just manage to stay solvent when I have changed my £30.  So don't worry too much.  It makes me feel a bit sad to think you have had to miss so much of the "light-headed" feeling that I have been enjoying.  It's over now, I think, because the thought of only 14 more days is acting rather like a cold douche on my excitement.  

There are so many little things to think of - all to do with other people - that I miss the times I had to myself last term to ponder over you  - and all you meant to me. - Oh, Ticky - I am so very very afraid we are losing something precious - I want to marry you so badly - but please, please don't let us grow ordinary - I don't want to settle down a bit - just to do the same things every day - Marriage at the moment looks too middle-aged and smug to me - don't let it be - oh, darling - dearest dear - don't let it be!  Life has been so exciting - so full of meaning since I first met you - let it ever be so.  I wish you were here just to tell me it would - I should feel a bit happier then.

Mary - who will love you for always.

18th August 1937 - Mary to Terrick

Darling - here is the passport with all forms I hope complete.  I suppose they send it straight to your father? - what about the "?" then?  And we must remind him not to leave it behind in Wensley when he comes down!  I had another letter from him this morning about Mr Bernays' cheese!  He thinks I should get a nicer one if I left it until November.

My hay fever had quite disappeared when I woke up this morning.  It was awful last night.

I phoned Wrights to find their van had already left.  They had sent up a special "removal" van for everything and were only allowed to take the carpet!  I expect they're fuming a bit - but I do see it would really have been impossible for you.  I hope they don't charge us, that's all.

I'm going up to the flat after tea & Jack's coming on at 7. to have a look at a few things - we can't do much because it gets dark so early.  

I have sent that photograph of me to your father as he said he'd like it.

All my love

Mary

18th August 1937 - Mary to Terrick

Darling - dearest dear - and my very own true love - here (most romantically) is the form to be filled in for the Electric Light Co.  It seems like Double Dutch to me - but doubtless your superior brain will cope with it.  I should just fill in the top easy bit and the signature at the bottom - I'll ask them about the "particulars of installations" and "Motor & Heating apparatus" and fill them in when I return it to them.

Could you get it done to give me tomorrow?

I love you more than I shall ever be able to tell you - but perhaps, one day, I shall be able to show you how much.

Your Mary Pleasant

A wedding invitation

20th July 1937 - Mary to Terrick

The green of course is no good as we're having distemper - but choose two of the other for dining room and living room.

I love you very much.

Mary

Joyce thinks family will give us 2 bedside lamps if we want them - Pray heaven they choose alright!

20th July 1937 - Terrick to Mary

35 Nevern Place 
S.W. 5

20th July

Darling One,

This evening I only got out of the office at 9.07pm, so I am not frightfully hopeful about tomorrow evening.  Still I will let you know when I see you at Heal's at 2pm.  Tuesday is my worst day and I have finished up quite clear.

This morning I got £5 from Aunt Morley at Eastbourne.  A start!

Of the four papers the only one I don't like much is No. 3.  It is difficult to tell which of the others is best from the small bits, so decide yourself.

Have just had a very nice letter from Eileen with photos of the new garden.  She asks me to say that they are thrilled with your things and is writing to you today because she is sending you some things that she had not quite finished.  By a funny sentence, disguised for the censor, she tells me that she is sending us money for a wedding present.  Philip has a son!  But I will show you the letter tomorrow.

I have bought a gramophone record with the "Internationale" on one side and the Red Flag on the other!  But my gramophone will only play so slowly that they sound like funeral marches.

I find I did not heave my Left Book at Dunally after all.  Have you finished the one you have got?

I love you so much, petootie.  Definitely more than ever now our time of living together is so close.

All my heart & its love,

Terrick
XXX

Please bring the list up with you.  Paul wants to see it.  So does Renny in case he can't get a travelling case.

8th July 1937 - Terrick to Mary

36 Nevern Place
S.W. 5

8th July 1937


Just a line, darling heart, to tell you I love you.  To let you know that the comparisions I perpetually draw between you and all the millions of women in the streets make London a vulgar, unlovely place; so hurry on tomorrow by thinking about it, and come and meet me a the office at 6.

I have written to Miss Cross this evening.

Renny has been asked to go before the Imperial Airways Selection Board.

Can you come to dinner with Aunt Mildred on Friday?  Vi will be there.  Ring me up about this tomorrow, please.

Goodbye, my love, my dear and fair one.  I am living till tomorrow.  We can't go out anywhere; I have just had to buy a new pair of shoes.

Your Terrick

XXX

23rd June 1937 - letter to Terrick from his mother

Wensley Rectory
Leyburn
Yorkshire


Dearest Terrick

I have written your expenses.  I had a printed paper about it at Eileen's wedding but I have not got it now.  All expenses connected with the Chirch except what I have written down is ?? by the bride's people.  Mrs Ormiston must ask the verger for a list of expenses.  They vary in every church.  Choir & organist, carpets & awnings are optional but the Ormistons pay them.  I forgot the banns so I put them on the top.  Daddy says you must ask the clergyman's permission for your father to marry you & tell him the date if convenient & give Daddy his name & he will write to him also.  I can't do ??? now till the autumn as it takes about 2 months & I have to get the house ready for the tenants.  I have no H.P. maid at present.

I am making new curtains for my room .  Daddy thought of giving you a canteen of plate & Knives.  What shall I give you?  Would you like a silver teapot, cream & sugar basin or a dinner service or an armchair, or anything you can think of.  

Mr White is going to Kirklington & Mr Campbell of Hardraw is going to Nice!!  The Bishop can't get anyone for Middleham.  Daddy is the rural Dean which means we have got to remain here & I counted on leaving in Sept.  Vera is somewhere on the sea but I don't know where.  Eileen's letters are sad reading, nothing but rows.  I hope Renny will make a good match & please me.  It must be Lord Duffield who has given Baldwin all that money.  A unique gift!  Will Aunt Mildred be in Harrogate when you marry.  I hope Mary wears her best dress for polo.  Funny about the FtizHugh who applied for a job!

Your loving mother.

Perhaps someone else is giving you a dinner service.



Banns 2/6 but it varies

Bridegroom's expenses

Fee to Vicar whether Daddy marries you or not about 1 guinea
Tips after wedding
Presents to bridesmaids & bouquets if they have them
Bouquets to bride's and bridegroom's mothers (I won't have one)
Your own car to Chruch & you go away in it afterwards
Buttonhole for yourself & best man.

16th June 1937 - Terrick to Mary

35 Nevern Place
S.W. 5

16th June 1937

Dearest, 

I have been working again on Sydney & Co & have got the statistics up to date.  As soon as I can get some typing paper - Friday - I'll set it all out and put it in on Tuesday.

My losing that case in the bus cost me a pretty penny in a broke week, nearly five shillings in shaves & bus fares & fee.  A damn nuisance, but my own fault.

If it rains tomorrow evening let's come back here, shall we.  In any case, unless it is pouring before 6 p.m., when I'll ring up, we'll meet in the park.

My new Left Books have come: "The Post-War History of the British Working Class", "Changing Man" and two plays: "Six Men of Dorset (about the Tolpuddle Martyrs) and "Waiting for Lefty" with Miss Cross's present, I shall be well behind in reading them.  I haven't finished "The Textbook of Marxist Philosophy" yet.

I looked up details about slavery in England.  I haven't been able to find the date when it finally stopped though I was certainly a few years out.  There were 15,000 negro slaves in Gt. Britain in 1770.  A test legal case declared against slavery in 1771 but it was a flourishing trade in London and Liverpool and did not die out immediately.  Still Jack's 150 years (I am not sure if that was his figure) before 1838 is a long way out.  I believe I said 15.

I have got a booklet on Baveno filled with photographs.  It looks lovely.  I am not writing to Sims as I find that certain special rate Italian coupons cannot be beaten for price because they entitle one to 50% reduction on the Maggiore lake steamers, reductions in rail fares & entrances to art galleries etc.

O, my darling, I am so looking forward to it all.  First and foremost and swamping all the rest I am looking forward to being married to you.  But inspite of the insignificance besides this, there are two other things that are enough to excite me alone each of them.  One is the finishing and decorating of a flat with your help, and the second is visiting the Italian Lakes with you.  I could let out a shout of anticipation of all that life holds out to me!

I shall see you tomorrow (at 7.15), & the next day (at 7.15) and the next day, and the next and the next!  Life is perfect.

Mary, I love you.

I wish you were here.

Terrick
XXX

Did you write to Carlton?

1st June 1937 - Terrick to Mary

35 Nevern Place
S.W. 5

1st June 1937


My Darling,

Yesterday I had a lovely day.  I got down to Folkstone at about 10.45, finished the train by 12.15 and lunch by 12.50, so I went and lay on the beach in the sun till my fish and chips changed into me and then went to the swimming pool for a bathe.  It was glorious.  Then I went back to the station as the boat got in at 3.15 & came back to town, satisfied.  In the evening I got on with my Left Book.

This evening my three "back number" Left Books arrived:  An Atlas of Empire, and Atlas of Current Affairs and The Condition of Britain.  The marriage book is a Supplementary Book for July so you will only just get a chance to read it in time.

Tomorrow I'll see you at 2.30 at the Curzon Cinema.  I saw an advert of the Times Furnishing Co. in the Telegraph yesterday which I meant to keep but forgot.  It is a series of books on designs for furnishing the various rooms of a house; advertisement of course but might be interesting.

Today I had lunch with Bickerstath, Joan Salter's "young man"! He was trying to interest me in an indexing system and is a very good salesman.  I am interesting myself in it because if I put up something like it to Ashe, whether her uses it or not, he'll think that my brains are growing more & more powerful.

You have just phoned up.  It was very cheering to hear your voice.  I love it.

All my heart's love.

Terrick

XXX

27th May 1937 - Mary to Terrick

O.V.S.

Thursday

In a hurry

Dear Ticky,

Here is the ticket and Hitchin's card for tomorrow.  He said 6.30 would be all right for his son to start.  We had one of our best rehearsals yesterday - but Carlton thinks Martin Browne will be down on us anyway (although I wouldn't call Carlton by any means a typical example of "Britain's Blue-Eyed Youth" - like Jack - he has three very typical characteristics - he says his prayers every night - can't  bear the thought of Germans earning a living on British soil - and won't allow three people to light their cigarettes off one match!))

Mummy was up this morning to ask if you & I would join her & Lingwoods & Flip on Sat. evening to see Simone Simon in "Seventh Heaven" - I said you weren't coming down this weekend & explained etc. (but perhaps you might phone or write her a card if you have time) - and as I have not the slightest inclination to see the film I shall look after the empty house for the evening!  The family always manage to leave me to my own devices when you're not going to be with me!  Jill & Joan are taking the car up to Reading Regatta for the day.

Grannie was telling me yesterday that she had met Mrs Pearce at the Leven League meeting & she had said how badly she wanted to meet you.  I thought I might phone her one day & ask when I could bring you.

It will be nice seeing you on Sunday afternoon but, of course, the shortest times are the worst.  I always feel better on Monday mornings than Wednesday nights - but perhaps that's just "night"!

It's dreadful what creatures of habit we become - missing a weekend of you sends everything upside down.

It'll be wonderful with the buses again tomorrow, won't it?

As the curtain is rung up at 7.45 on Friday, we shall disappear to dress for "Lear" as we come second, so shall miss the first play - but shall probably be down again for the third.  My seat's next to yours.  They may want 2/6 for yours but I'm not sure.  Anyhow I shall probably see you about 7.30.

My love as always.

Mary

18th May 1937 - Mary to Terrick

O.V.S.

Tuesday


Darling - Yesterday was such a wonderful day that I feel I simply must write and say thank you very much for that - as well as my two books.

Everything was so lovely - the birds - and sun- and trees - and the peacefulness one minute - and excitement the next - that the memory of it still makes me feel excited - it becomes nicer and nicer as today goes on - I think of it all - and my eyes sparkle (at least, they feel as if they do) and I long to tell everybody how lovely it was!

If I had had the population of the earth lined up in front of me, and had been told to choose who I should pend a birthday like yesterday's with - it would never have been as wonderful, enchanting, long and lovingly remembered as yesterday with you.

It was the nicest birthday I have ever had - it even beat my 17th - which led up till now - and I cannot thank you enough for loving me so much!

Yours, as I always shall be - because I love you so much too.

Mary Pleasant

14th May 1937 - Terrick to Mary

35 Nevern Place
S.W. 5

14th May 1937

Petootie Darling!

You poor old thing!  When I opened your letter I certainly did not expect it to be so different from all your others - & so grumbly.

Both you and your mother are right - and wrong.  You do owe your mother a lot which you ought to repay her - in attentions; and also you ought to think of what she would like whether you owed her anything or not (Listen to me talking - a bit of practice would be a good thing.)  In that way, viewing the matter entirely abstractly and in principle, your mother is right and you are wrong.

But in practice your other makes it difficult for you to carry out what she wants you to do & what it is right for you to do.

Her mind is so wrapt up by & limited to her children - she wants their love and attention so much - but because she needs it so much she goes about it all the wrong way to get.  She begs and importunes for it.

To start with she has the handicap that young people are not interested in middle-aged people unless those middle-aged people from their experience can offer them leadership in some thing even if it is only small.  Think of some elderly or middle-aged people whom you would choose to spend a day with: Mr Bernays, Hock, the Bishop of Ripon.  They are people, aren't they, who you feel you can't help learning from in their own particular way, and who stand independent and firm - to be lent on (in their line) with confidence if necessary.

But as your mother's chief interest is you she cannot lead you, only follow.  You cannot lean on her; she is leaning on you.

And to make it worse your mother has put herself in a position where she is not only mentally dependent on you but also physically because she cannot drive the car.  By being hard one can ignore and slip off a mind that constantly calls for assistance; but not a foot.  You find that in your fairly restricted spare time you have to spend part of it driving to places you don't want to go to, because you have to take someone in whom, if she were not your mother, you would not be interested.  It naturally creates friction.

Your mother cannot suddenly change her nature; but think what a difference it would make if she merely learnt to drive.  It would as a matter of fact help her just a little to be more mentally independent of you.  If she could say instead of  "Will you take me to the flood-lighting, Mary?";  "Well, I'm off to town to see the illuminations.  Anyone like to come?"  It might do her a world of good.  Imagine her saying on Sunday morning: "I'm driving down to the sea today with Auntie Esmie.  There's room for two in the back."  At first she would have to go by herself, but after a bit her family would soon be glad to go with someone who knew her own mind and had the ability to act in accordance with it.  At least knowing how to drive would give her the physical ability to move independently of you, even if she didn't often wish to take advantage of it.  Try to persuade her to go to the BSM and be properly taught.  I am quite prepared to tell her most of all this.

I must stop now or miss the post.

Goodnight my dearest.

Terrick

who loves you.

13th May 1937 - Mary to Terrick

Home

Thursday


Dear Ticky - We've had another slight bust up here this morning.  Mummy asked me if I would drive her up to the office and back this afternoon as she wanted to see the decorations.  I said I'd been looking forward to doing nothing all day and just knitting.  She was frightfully upset and said she'd been plucking up courage for two days to ask me to do this for her - and had thought of it all yesterday & 50% of her going to bed early was so we could be together - and it was always the same now - whatever she asked me to do for her I never wanted to do it & I never lifted a finger to help anybody.  While she did all she could looking after the house, getting the food - having my friends here - living for the time when I came home - and when I didn't want to do things with her or for her it "sapped her very existence" and made her feel she hated me 0 and everybody else would, too, if I didn't pull myself together and help and show some interest in other people.

I know she's said similar things before - but I don't often feel it as badly as I do at the moment.  It becomes more and more difficult for me to do things for others.  I don't know why I have felt it so much more these last few months - but I can almost remember it starting.  The thing I look forward too all the week (when every minute is mapped out - if not school then things for myself) is being able to spend one whole day just choosing what I'll do or not do - and, you see, this way nobody else comes into my reckoning at all - they just don't occur to me.  I have never lacked for company or had to depend for home or food on myself - so I've ceased to realize what part the people who do these things for me play in my life.  Everything has always been wonderful for me - I wouldn't change places with anybody in the world - just because I suppose, my mother & family have always been so good to me.  But when it comes to doing anything for them which interferes with what I had planned for myself (being at school all the week makes me plan out every minute of my day) I SIMPLY CANNOT DO IT - I remind myself a hundred times of my food and roof and clothes and all Mummy does for me - but immediately there creeps in how much I long to be by myself doing the 101 things that can never be done at school, and which make life so interesting - the little things.

You know you tease me sometimes about having 4 months holiday a year and yet complaining of never having enough time to - try writing stories - read book you have to think about - enquire about acting & films - well, of course, a good bit of it is my own lack of effort - I'm not really made of the right stuff - but a pretty good percentage is just because living in this house, with these people is another job in itself - It isn't "4 months holiday" - it's "4 months change of position".

- And just this last two months - with so much apart form this house and the people in it to occupy my time and thoughts it has seemed more and more impossible to think of them.

I know quite, quite well (and don't think I'm fool enough not to be quite sincere) that I'm being horribly selfish to them.  You don't think I'm selfish because, naturally, you never have a chance of seeing that side of me (except sometimes!) - but I am - and it seems to grow larger & larger as I get more and more impatient with it all.

Mummy lives just for me and the others - she gives me presents and money and is longing to help me with getting married - and, yet, when she asks me to drive her up to the office and back I say I had thought of knitting all day!! - & it's not only today - it's often and often - & I hate myself - but it doesn't help me to change.

- This evening we go to the Pictures & tomorrow Aunt Floss has to be fetched to lunch & I take them over to watch a wedding at Esher - back to school in the evening - so there's tomorrow gone bang.

If only I could feel sincerely sorry and remember next time - but I don't.

If only someone would explain to me why it's all like this - if it's me that's all wrong and need a jolly good shaking - or our home life that's been a bit mismanaged.

I can't decide by myself - but I do know something's wrong with my not feeling for Mummy & the family the way I should.

We always seem to be in a small vicious circle.



Excuse all this, dearest dear, but I thought perhaps you could do a bit of explaining to me.

This "family" business seems such a thankless task - do you suppose it's worth it?

Your

Mary

10th May 1937 - Terrick to Mary

Ladies' Army & Navy Club
27 St James's Place, S.W.1.

10th May 1937

Darling, 

I am coming straight down from the office tomorrow.  As my mother has to get up so early she is going to bed early.

We may all three go to "The Good Earth" on Thursday.  We have just been to see "Black Limelight" - quite exciting, but I have known it better done.

Goodnight, my darling.  Three months and twenty eight days.

I love you.

Terrick

Ring me tomorrow & let me know if we can meet at Richmond.  Or are you going home earlier?

2nd May 1937 - Postcard from Terrick to Mary

A lovely morning.  I have been wandering round Cologne but I wanted to show you so much all the time.  A good crossing, but a frightfully overheated carriage.  We arrived here at 6am It's now 8.15.  I leave again at 10am.  I have bought a book of de Maupassaant's short stories to read in the train. They are very good.

Terrick

How did the birthday party go?

21st April 1937 - Mary to Terrick

O.V.S.

Wednesday 6pm


Dearest Dear - Thank you for your very nice letter - I was the only one to get one at breakfast this morning & everyone was most envious! The photograph isn't too good - you'd combed your hair down too straight.  It looks so much nicer when it curls!

Haven't you got time to have another one done? I should hate them to think your hair could only look like that!

I'm glad about the new glasses - we'll try them out properly at the pictures on Friday - unless you've been before then.  I also had a good idea about the bulb - unless you've got a new one already.  Why can't you use one of those we keep for the titler? It's wasted most of the time in its box - you might just as well be using it.  I can't think why it didn't strike us before.  I don't suppose Imperial Airways really take much notice of those forms - it's usually mostly formality.  I should think they either remember you or make a few notes afterwards.  I broached Miss X about Joan's wedding - but I can't be spared as it's so near beginning of term - & I couldn't honestly make out she was a very near relation!!

But I'm glad you're going (the Poly will start getting a bit suspicious about your free afternoons!) - and you can give me full details in the evening - so mind you get as much information as possible! (You'll probably have to answer some "leading questions" from your mother as well!!)

I'm looking forward to my birthday now - I'm on duty on the Tuesday instead - but there's a half term in June which I'm going to be free for (about the first time since I've been here!) - as Freeth is doing it instead.

Today has been tremendously wearing.  My family would never recognise me if they could see me working from morn to dewy eve!  It seems quite different somehow - knowing exactly what has to be done and that you're responsible.  Instead of being asked to do odds & ends here and there when you've just settled to something else.  It was awful at home this hols.  It gets more and more difficult to do things just because family ties demand it.  When for 8 months of the year one is treated like a knowledgeable and responsible person - with an opinion that counts for something - it is most wilting to discover one is hall-marked "inefficiency" immediately you get home.  It's quite natural, because there's nothing very much I do properly at home - so that I'm now growing to look on it as a holiday where I'm really not interested enough to join in with the lives of the occupants of the house.  I always feel much happier here.

Grannie is looking forward to her birthday luncheon on the 1st - can we give her something between us? - because I can't think of anything she really wants.  I ran over to see her yesterday - & she asked if you had the photograph of me sitting on a stool taken at the same time as those with the twins in the garden.  I'm not sure whether it was one of those three Mummy gave you - but if not I said I was sure you'd like Grannie's copy (so you'll jolly well have to!)  She thinks it's the nicest of me & would like you to have it - so there'll probably be a nice formal & slightly embarrassing presentation of it on the 1st!!!

I'll be at the office by 6 on Friday - you'll be back in the afternoon - won't you?  Let's go to the pictures first & eat afterwards.  I don't know if I can last till then without seeing you.  I'm afraid I make life more restless for myself by seeing so much of you  - it's a bit worrying - but I do see more than ever that having lots to do is the best way to get over it!

One Thursday you must come to the Shakespeare rehearsal - because I don't do anything - and I could talk to you all the time! (This, of course, is just another excuse!)

- Oh - but why should I be ashamed of myself when I have the greatest and most glorious of all excuses for seeing you for ever and ever more - every week and every day and every hour - because I love you so dearly - and you love me.

Mary 

20th April 1937 - Terrick to Mary

35 Nevern Place
S.W. 5

20th April 1937

My dearest,

Last night I was showing Renny those three photographs of you that your mother gave me and which I took out of their frame.  They made, as they did when I first saw them, a tremendous feeling of tenderness for you well up inside me.  It is just a littler edition of you now:- such a loving, lovable little girl who is too good for anyone like me or anyone else.  Heavens, I am lucky!

Yesterday I got a letter from home saying that Daddy was sending Renny and me new Revelation cases with our initials on them, and this evening they have come.  Mine is initialled "G.B.H.F"!  I shall ring up the Revelation people tomorrow & get them to change it, but I very much suspect that the fault is in my father's terrible writing.  It may be though that he ordered it verbally in Harrogate and the salesman took down G.B. instead of T.V. which certainly sounds similar.

Another thing that happened last night is that I got a letter from Joan asking you me and Renny to her wedding at 10.15 am on Friday 23rd at Hampstead Parish Church.  Renny can't com but I asked off this morning.  Joan also rang up and enquired whether I could come.  I told her definitely about myself but didn't promise for you.  Will you come? It would be great fun. I think I'll ring you up and ask you.

I have got my new lenses which seem very good.  At the moment I see better with my left eye than with my right but the optician says my eyes have to accustom themselves to the new lenses.

On reading through the details for applications for the Imperial Airway job I see that I have to have passed either Matric, or School Cert with 5 credits including English, Maths & a Modern Language.  I didn't go in for Matric but I passed School Cert with a fair number of credits though I don't know about five - but Maths quite definitely was not one of them.  I only got 33% - I have written home to ask if they have the Certificate there.

I got my photo from Selfridge.  Here is one but isn't it awful.  I wasn't quite ready & was just going to smile, hence the lazy lip.

Goodbye, my little darling.  I wish you were the size you were in your old photos so that I could pick you up in my arms and rock you.

I love you very much.

Terrick  XXXXX

5th April 1937 - Mary to Terrick

Dunally

April 5th '37

Dearest One - it's the most perfect thing to feel as close to anybody as I do to you.  As each day goes by more & more do I feel that we're wasting time - everything would be worth twice it's present value if we were together.  Every two minutes I want to look up and say "Terrick" and for you to say "Yes?" - and then to ask you the hundred & one things that nobody else would know the answer to.

This isn't "love" - it's just "incompleteness" - you can understand people getting fat with contentment when they suddenly find the empty places of their souls filled up - the smallness of their minds absorbed in something greater and their bodies made whole.  it's a state of idealism which I am sure could so easily drug it's addicts and blind them to it's possibilities.  I have go to remember so consistently, darling, that life can't be lived by running my fingers through your hair or polishing your shoes.  It's very difficult for womankind to keep any part of herself her own - since her whole instinct is to merge everything with a being stronger than herself where it becomes swallowed up.  Perhaps in the majority of cases it's only a passing phase - & the trouble starts when she tries to emerge.  You'll keep me bright & sane, darling won't you? - I'm not always a fool - and I feel that under a nice, steady platonic, dispassionate guiding influence, I might even aspire to intelligence!

I don't now whether any of this is sense - I never do - but there's something I want to say behind it all - and it helps to try.

I have written to your father and asked him about my photographs - have you written to your mother about the rug? - I see it measures (?)7" x 54" so it's quite a good size.

I can have the car tomorrow so I'll be outside the office at 1.30 if that's O.K. with you & we'll go straight off to Bowman's.  Then I'll find something to do in the afternoon & meet you at 6.

After that I don't care what we do - wander round the Marble Arch holding hands if you like - I love you so so much that a good dose of sitting and just looking at you would suit me nicely - and be awfully cheap!

- My dearest dear - noone knows how tremendously lucky I am -

Your 

Mary Pleasant

22nd March 1937 - Terrick to Mary

35 Nevern Place
S.W. 5

22nd March 1937

My Dearest, Dearest Girl,

Today I could I think have had a chance of going to Nice after all, but found that I wouldn't go for a hundred pounds.  I am looking forward so much to going up to Wensley with you.

After I had rung off I remembered that in my first letter home I did say to them that they ought to write and invite you, but they probably would have anyhow.  I didn't think of it any more after I had spoken to my father on the phone, I took that as instead.  I didn't say anything to him about writing too which was what I suppose I was thinking about when I said 'no'.

I could have stood and talked to you on the phone for ages if you hadn't been going out & had Miss cross waiting to get on the phone.  It would have been all about nothing - with Mrs Nutt listening, but it would have been very nice.  So I am writing to you instead.

Before I can get a grant from the Poly for my eyes I have to get a form signed by my doctor that I need to have them tested!  It is so seldom that I see my doctor that I don't know if I can find his house again.

I left behind at Dunally my bedroom slippers and your brown tie.  Will you bring them up with you, please.

Must stop now.  With all my love

Terrick

3rd March 1937 - Mary to Terrick

O.V.S.
Wednesday


Dearest Dear - I have had a most marvellous afternoon - it was wonderful - spending pots & pots of money - on a new coat & skirt - jersey - 2 hats - and material for a summer skirt & two dresses - and a pair of brown gloves - oh heavens! - it was a lovely time! - & now I'm simply longing to show it all to you, and you'll say "um - oh, yes quite nice - " and pass them all over disinterestedly - but will you give me a brown handbag for my birthday? Because I felt I really couldn't afford that!

Mummy has sent you some cod-liver oil & malt - so you'll swell visibly I should think!

I have just got back in time for supper before going out & found a most lovely long letter from Eileen - and a postcard telling me to be at a rehearsal of Twelfth Night on Friday!  It's probably to decide between Kathleen & me for Maria - so it'll be a bit nerve-wracking because she's much more popular.  It's also a bit disappointing about the Highland Club - because I wanted to hear Jas McPhee again so badly.  But Shakespeare will be nicer if I get it.

Eileen's letter was full of news - & had been opened again - you must read it, because it's all different from yours.  She's offered to make me anything I like, as she has so much time on her hands - which is jolly nice of her.  The nephew isn't expected until Aug 18th so she probably won't be able to come over till Christmas - which is disappointing - he seems to be going on all right so far.  I'll write to her again next week.  I also had a long letter from Inge, saying she was too busy to come over this summer - but would you & I go and stay there - as there was room for both of us.  I'll write and thank her and explain.

Ring me up on Friday before 8.  I wish so badly I was going to see you.  I shan't get Saturday off.

I hope things are going well - yesterday evening was lovely - 

I love you so much.

Yours

Mary Pleasant

25th February 1937 - Mary to Terrick

O.V.S.
Thursday

Dear Old Thing - here is Patricia's best attempt on the gym piano. - it's all I can remember - perhaps they played it over & over again!!  It sounds awfully good if played with feeling, taking notice of the dots.

I loved yesterday evening - & got to bed beautifully late - the nicest bit was our cup of coffee.

Miss Cross wants you to suggest somewhere she can go for a week's holiday at Easter.  As hot as possible (probably S. France) and as small as possible she wanted to fly but thinks it's too expensive.

Just off to Shakespeare - had wonderful game of squash.

All my love

Mary
       xxx

23rd February 1937 - Terrick to Mary

35 Nevern Place
S.W.5

23rd February 1937


Dearest Girl, 

How I am looking forward to tomorrow!  It seems longer than usual since I last saw you, perhaps only because I have been so busy.

This morning a letter arrived from the Enquiry Office of Imperial Airways, the man Monk had told me to write to, a silly letter saying they had no vacancy at my salary but he could offer me a job in the Enquiry Dept at £3 a week.  Would I ring him if I was interested?  So in the lunch hour I went down and saw him.  Apparently Monk was correct in all the information he gave me except that the Enquiry Officer was the man to write to.  The E.O. only dealt with jobs in his own section - in which Monk himself was.  I told the E.O. his job was no good to me, and that I was only interested in the more highly paid jobs which I understood were abroad.  He confirmed this and said that the Staff Dept dealt with those jobs but he would get them to send me full particulars.  So that is how thing stand - pretty much as before.  He said that the people in the jobs I want are mostly "Director's pups" and that there is great competition for the jobs.  So I'll get a list of the directors and send it home for the old folks to see if they know any of them directly or indirectly.

I have got you a copy of the Leeds Mercury of 18th April last.  Quite a good photo.  Daddy was in the Daily Mirror yesterday for reviving a 110 year old custom of a dinner where anyone who talks shop is fined 2/6, at a certain inn & at a certain time.  He has invited one guest, the Bishop of Ripon, who has accepted.  Crackers!

This evening I worked till after eight, but I'll get away early tomorrow.  Come round at about 6.15pm not before.  I have a copy of the Leeds Mercury.

This is my last sheet of notepaper so I'll go onto this.

Renny has got a photograph of Evelyn which you must see.  She looks very beautiful in it, but it takes all the character out of her face.  Yesterday evening I spent helping with his German.

I wanted to have the different parts of the Albert Hall marked with the national flags but I find that the only official German flag now is the Crooked Cross (Swastika) and that was a bit too much even for the right wingers in the firm, so I have dropped the idea.  At Mr May's request I am doing my best to get von Ribbentrop to come, but it goes against the grain.  He is at the Leipzig Fair at the moment and may not be back in time.

All tomorrow I shall have the relieving feeling in the middle of my hurly burly of work that I am going to meet you at the end of it.  It will be like the pillar of smoke in the wilderness.  It is almost a pity to think that one day it will become an everyday matter.

Goodnight, my dear one

Terrick

       XXX

18th February 1937 - Mary to Terrick

O.V.S.
Thursday

My darling - as I never get a letter from you now I presume it's because you don't get enough from me - so I thought I'd write one to hold over your head until I can come down to breakfast one blissful & heaven-sent morning to find the nicest looking envelope on my plate.  Although I'm afraid it would cause many ribald remarks from the assembled crowd - as it's honestly time - the only single letter I've had this term has been from the Postmaster General!

I have just come back from our last rehearsal which went fairly well - time is the only real worry as we can only allow 10 secs. for each change of scene!!  Mrs Sunley (senior) says she hopes to meet you at last on Saturday (I expect their seats are somewhere near ours).  We play first (which is really quite nice if you think about it - in case we had a comedy before us) so I shall have to be there about 6.30 and shall be able to come down to my seat directly afterwards.  Mummy won't be able to come - she is better but still in bed.  Can we spend a nice afternoon together?  We needn't do anything special.  It's a pity we couldn't have looked for a flat - it would have been such a good opportunity!  I wonder if you will have heard from Imperial Airways - I have been thinking about it a lot.  probably because every breath I have breathed for the last four or five weeks has been a plan for getting married this April (quite groundless - I grant you!) - and now the chance that I might have to dust everything and put it safely away in some deep corner for another year (not only material things - which are more easily disposed of - but hopes and fears and aches - and plans for ways and means of living) - has snapped me off, and I'm left a bit rudderless since yesterday.  My new pillowcases don't look quite so exciting - and my underclothes tend to mock me as I work.

But I assure you this is but the feeling of a day.  It would be a wonderful, wonderful thing for you to be somewhere where you could really feel it was worth while working on - where people would really appreciate what you can do. - and so that you could make a wonderful lot of all the money you despise so much - and retire and write books and live in a flat roofed house with a cat and three sons and a daughter and your name would go down to posterity - and I should love you and see that you had everything you wanted always without worrying you - so that you could think of things.  (This is rather a long sentence - but you can understand it if you try)

- There are times ahead of us we dream not of - which will exceed any time we have lived so far - because we shall be together - and I don't mind for myself one bit if I'm rich or poor as long as you're there.

"It's better to travel hopefully than to arrive" come from "Virginibus Puerisque (?)"

Kathleen Hayes & her mother saw you three walking down Shaftesbury Avenue on Tuesday simply roaring with laughter!!

It is now 11.15p.m. and I can't keep awake - I hope Bradford went well - you might make a mighty effort and either phone before 8p.m. or write tomorrow - just so that I know you're back safely - & think what we can do on Saturday.  We needn't spend any money.  I get off at 1p.m.

All my love 

Mary Pleasant

P.S. What about the Seagull Guides if you get an offer from I.A.?

14th February 1937 - A Valentine

12th February 1937 - Mary to Terrick

Darling - dearest one

I'm sitting in the office waiting for Miss Cross who is very late & making me waste a lot of invaluable time.  I must just write you this because you're such a long way away - & I always feel more and more desolate the further you go.

Did you go the the pictures last night?  - It was heartbreaking to have to leave you when I just felt I wanted you to myself so badly.  I was bad-tempered all the way there - & took ages to find the place.  It's very tiny in a little side street.  The rehearsal didn't really go well - but it was fun seeing everybody in their costumes.  Mine is frightfully tight & makes me stick out in front like nothing on earth - Kathleen has a fair wig with two plaits!!

We left off about 10.30 and Ralph brought us home.  he's taking us again tonight - I'm going down at 6.30 to have supper at their flat.  I've always wanted to see it!!

Grannie has offered to embroider an initial on my 4 towels - can I have an FH or must it be only F?  She wondered if you could make up a fairly simple monogram for them.  It'll be the most exciting thing I've had done yet.

How have the two Reunions gone?  Lots of people? - and are you dead tired?

I'm simply longing to have your photograph by my bed - but I can't part with the other so I think I'll have to have them both.

Olsson has gone to enquire about that record for me - perhaps we'll have it for the weekend.

I love you more than anything else in the world - my darling -

Think of me a lot

Your own 

Mary Pleasant

12th January 1937 - Terrick to Mary

Office 12.1.37


Dearest Girl,

Are you having a good time?  And doing a lot of sewing?  Please remember me to Mr Bernays.

I don't want to go out to this wretched dance a bit tonight.  When I have a lot of engagements in the evening, I start to resent them because I have no time to do any of the things I want to.

Last time Renny & I had dinner with "our mother" at the Cumberland Hotel and then went to see "Those who are about to Die" at the Plaza.  I liked the minor film "Easy to Take" better, because it had a mad and unusual plot.  There was also a silly "Pop-eye".

Don't forget to let me know about Wednesday.

Mr May wanted me to give another lecture that evening but I have said I can't.  The one on Sunday went off very well; all the jokes went down well & the pictures of wild flowers elicited "A-a-h!"s from the girls, which I have never had before.  At the end a Swiss girl in the audience asked to be introduced to me and said I knew an awful lot about her country; so it was evidently a success.

I have had my photograph taken and shall get the proofs on Wednesday.  I am rather looking forward to it.  The man was an absolute "character".

All my love, dear,

Terrick  

        XXX

9th January 1937 - Mary to Terrick

Rehearsal

Darling my own - I'm so sorry my not coming this evening was such as disappointment to you.  If only I had spoken to you on the phone last night I feel you would only have had to say - "I wanted you particularly to come" and I should have braved everything. It's lucky I'm here 'though because they've missed me a lot & I find I'd forgotten my part a bit.  Hoch didn't recognise me - he said "How is it you're so much more beautiful than when we last met?" - I think it's my new coat!!

I've done a lot of work today - Miss Cross was very nice to me & Grannie is very pleased to have me for the night.  The Shakespeare Society are having auditions for "Twelfth Night" next Thursday - I don't know whether to try or not.  They're all a bit cold to me since we started on 'Lear' - & I'm so busy always.

I didn't buy our blankets.  Mummy thought it would be better to leave them - but I bought some lovely material & 2 blouses & Jill's birthday present.

I'm longing with all my heart for tomorrow - to be with you again & hold your hand - and tell you everything - and how much I love you - and all you mean to me.

I love you so much darling.

Mary